#0 · Jun 18, 2003, 16:29 · Spirit_Gurl

yes, congradulaions. you have succeded. instead of being patient and acceptig my apologies, warnings, and mood swings, you have insulted me and yelled at me. accused me of being an ungrateful attention-loving brat. since you all seem to want nothing of me, or nothing to do with me, I assume you wouldnt mind if i left. Im getting sick and tired of being insulted. I don't need this. Patience is a virtue, one that a lot of you do not have. Instead of listening to my questions and being patient, you write as though you are god and created the universe, you write as though I am just a little girl who will come to know the 'truth' in time, you write as though you've ignored all of my apologies. I'm through apologising for being in a bad mood, when i havent gotten a single apology from any of you. but of course, i expect you think that you were right and I was wrong, huh? that i should apologise to you for stating my mind, and that you were the victiom. but i deserve as much of an apology as you guys do, and since i have apologised many times beforehand and after, and have gotten no forgiveness or sympathy or AWKNOWLEDGEMENT even, I dont see any reason to continue wasting my time on this site. you can accuse me of twisting your words, or ignoring all the 'nice' 'wonderful' replys, you can say that you never insulted me and were only answering my quiestion, but it wont change anything. I have come to the conclusion that you are all this big community who hates answering a begginer's queistions, doesn't remember what it's like to have mood swings and bad days, doesnt know what it's like to feel as though nothing matters or has a reason for being, and doesn't care about any of that which a young teen might have to go through day in and day out. and then of course, when a few nice people have the AUDACITY to compliment me or show sympathy, someone else has to come along and ask "why is everyone coddling spirit girl?"
BECAUSE THEY HAVE HEARTS.

I'm sorry. See? yet another apology that you will ignore.
This will probably be my last, if not next-to-last post. I'll come back once in a while to see if anything interesting has happened, but dont expect me to truly be 'back'. the only way this won't be my last post is if I need to preserve my dignity because a fellow member had decided to once again openly insult me.

so good riddence. have fun on your little exclusive site. I hope you one day get a member that will insult and make you feel as bad and unworthy as you've made me feel.

sincerely, Tia.

#1 · Jun 18, 2003, 16:44 · Frank

It's just a thought, but in the grand scheme of things maybe playing the martyr is something you need to get out of your system.

Yours,
Frank

#2 · Jun 18, 2003, 17:06 · MJ-12

No one on this website owes you a damn thing. Get over yourself.

#3 · Jun 18, 2003, 17:46 · beav31is

Are you here to learn about OBE or to be manipulated by insults? You lose valuable info by leaving.

#4 · Jun 18, 2003, 18:58 · kromeknight

Hello Spirit Gurl
As you know I messaged you hoping you would stick it out and add your say in the forums. Their are all different typs of personalitys posting from their view, your view I would have like to see continue as also all others....even the 'one' that annoys me with malice post and deliberate contortion of information..... I had to let that out. But it dose illustrate that we can have conflict of opinion and voice it within respectful posts as in they are read by all ages. I know how you fill sort of , and looking at the above replys I see that they haven't looked beyond the words or understood what your really saying, infact it just shows your point, bluntly. I hope to see you either here or else were on the other forums dealing with this subject, don't lose heart in finding what your looking for in AP/obe Spirit Gurl all the best and take care

#5 · Jun 18, 2003, 19:30 · timeless

Dear Spirit_Gurl,

I wish you well and hope you find joy and happiness in your future. I am deeply sorry if I ever offended you.

Best Wishes,
timeless

#6 · Jun 18, 2003, 20:26 · strwrs_guru

spirit girl

i am sorry for the way others have treated you here. i love this site as it helps answer many of my questions. there are a lot of rude people out there who dont realize that their words are hurting. i would assume they are trying to be funny or they are trying to look cool to the others on here with their witty remarks. i for one wish you would stay as i have read many of your questions and have received some of the answers i was looking for myself. i think you are an extremely intelligent young girl but you need to grow thicker skin so the bad things said here will just bounce off you. i am also new and have many questions that are ignored. but i dont think people are being mean, i just think we are going over areas already covered by other peoples questions before we got here. i have noticed some people dont like to repeat themselves and they make fun of us for being new to these kinds of things. just ignore them as some of them are just immature young guys themselves. and if you havent noticed most of them like to think they already have all of lifes answers. what fools. i am 33 and i am just beginning to see that with as much knoweledge that i have accumulated up til now, i dont know crap. all i do know is that i dont know.

so as far as i am concerned, we are a minority that believe the way we do here at this website and others like this. we need to stick together and help each other out. there are enough people out there that think we are all nuts or are dabbling in satanic stuff. we all should be dissappointed that you are leaving as there will be one less of us for support.

to everyone else reading this, remember that you were young once too. how did you like being ignored or made to feel like your opinions meant nothing because of your age? lets give spirit girl our support.

#7 · Jun 18, 2003, 20:59 · no_leaf_clover

i think thats what shes looking for, guru.. i wouldnt feed it.

i'm one of the people she's complaining about. i don't think it's anything to moan about.. i simply replied to one of her messages, and she didn't like my post and got all offensive, and posted a potentially insulting (i was not offended) post back to me. i was just trying to help, as many other people do, but if she doesnt like your reply, or your reply conflicts with her beliefs, she seems to be little.. negative...

#8 · Jun 18, 2003, 21:44 · strwrs_guru

i understand that no leaf clover but i think that you are also too young to understand certain aspects of life. dont take offense at that, its just one has to experience things first hand to be able to talk about them. for example the subject of having kids. someone of your age cannot undrstand certain complexities of being a parent.

before i start offending all sorts of people here, i dont think it hurts to feed her sense of self need. i would do it for others as well. everyone wants to be a part of something and nobody likes being shunned. i think we should all use our maturity and deal with people on their respective levels.

with spirit gurl i will be a little more understanding.
with you or other teen guys i can be a little harsh or jokey.
with tisha i can be a little flirty.(I love her picture.)
with the guys that seem harsh in most of their posts i will be harsh back at them.

the point is give each their own consideration. so she is looking for a little attention. arent we all at some point?   i know i do.

and no offense is meant to any one here. i am starting to think of everyone her as a new group of friends. i couldnt take advice from people i didnt respect in some way or other.

like frank.......the man always has helpful input for everyone new and old on this site. i havent read everything ,but i had a topic he gave really good advice for.
then i stumbled upon in a different area the same issue i brought up before and was answeredby frank in an extremely helpful and informative way.
frank doesnot take offence that he is teaching the same things to peo[pleover different time spans, and he doesnt tire out with his helpful nature

#9 · Jun 18, 2003, 22:06 · no_leaf_clover

ok. i won't say anything else, since now it's just down to a difference of opinions, and a lot of my opinions... suck? [ :) ] i see what you're saying as creating the problem in the first place by having her 'coddled' all the time, but thats just me. i dont know crap about this sort of thing anyway.

eh.. it'd take more than that to offend me, guru. you can tell me whatever you want, really, and feel free. [ :) ] i wouldnt say i like to be insulted or cussed or whatever, but sometimes you can get something out of it, unless it's just 'i did your mother last night...' etc etc. [ ;) ]

#10 · Jun 18, 2003, 23:11 · goingslow

I too have been victimized by rude posts spiritgirl.

We have to ignore those that victimize us by not answering us exactly as we would want them to.

I feel you. Best thing to do is leave and tell everyone it's their fault.  That way people can see who the bigger person was.  Good luck.

#11 · Jun 18, 2003, 23:48 · eeb

Spiritgurl,

You don't owe anybody an apology, don't you see? You don't have to apologise for yourself.

And don't think your the only one with mood swings and bad days, that happens to everybody!

And last but not least, nobody accuses you of anything.

Ebele

#12 · Jun 19, 2003, 01:40 · clandestino

hi Tia !!

You've got to remember that this is just a forum.... People like me who post here are part of a completely different community from your family and friends. You never see us, or talk to us.

So why get offended by what people say ? I hope that you continue posting here, and learn to ignore anything that people say that upsets you.
best wishes
Mark

ps
quote:
have fun on your little exclusive site.
I thought all sorts of people posted their views here ??! and its free too !

#13 · Jun 19, 2003, 01:42 · clandestino

ps starwars guru -  I really hope that your avatar isn't a photo of yourself, otherwise you've got problems.

#14 · Jun 19, 2003, 02:11 · PeacefulWarrior

Going slow wrote:
quote:
I too have been victimized by rude posts spiritgirl.

We have to ignore those that victimize us by not answering us exactly as we would want them to.

I feel you. Best thing to do is leave and tell everyone it's their fault. That way people can see who the bigger person was. Good luck.
That doesn't sound like very good advice to me.

"best thing to do is leave"?  I don't think so.  Running away from problems and people never solves anything and furthermore, this "victimized" mentality, which runs rampant these days, is one of the many things that is really hurting society.

I, and everyone here, has likely been offended to some degree...but if you are secure and have good self-esteem and believe in yourself and your ideas then you move on and make a difference and learn...

Anyway, that's my two cents.

#15 · Jun 19, 2003, 03:12 · goingslow

You're absolutely right PW.. but that actually was my point in a way.  No one here knows how another person responds to things in person.. some dont get another's sense of humor.

But a lot were adding in how they too were victimized so I thought I'd join in.  I was actually being a little ironic.  But like a lot of things online things are misread or come through as serious when it's said in jest.

I dont hold grudges and enjoy good debate.  There's no sense in taking things personal here since most people are just giving their perspectives the only way they know how.  Variety is the spice etc.. and trying to lay a guilt trip on a bunch of people is never a good thing.

I get offended by posts too at times then i step away from it and realize everyone here is asking basically the same questions.  I'll go to the next post by them with a clean slate.  But holding resentment etc just doesn't make sense in a place where there will be such a variety of viewpoints.  Understanding goes both ways and people need to learn mood swings and bad days aren't exclusive to pre teens.

#16 · Jun 19, 2003, 03:16 · Parmenion

quote:
Originally posted by PeacefulWarrior

Going slow wrote:
quote:
I too have been victimized by rude posts spiritgirl.

We have to ignore those that victimize us by not answering us exactly as we would want them to.

I feel you. Best thing to do is leave and tell everyone it's their fault. That way people can see who the bigger person was. Good luck.
That doesn't sound like very good advice to me.
I dont think it was meant to be good advise. Sarcasm, no? They do say it's the lowest form of humour but I shamedly admit it makes me grin. The problem with forums is that it's hard to get a persons "tone of typing". The same sentence can mean two or more totally different things.

Spirit Gurl~ I never read any of your posts, but if your leaving then I say the best of luck to you.[ :) ] (See, the smily face means I'm sincere)

Take care,
~P

#17 · Jun 19, 2003, 03:18 · Parmenion

Looks like I was beaten to it! [ ;) ]

#18 · Jun 19, 2003, 04:28 · Euphoric Sunrise

Spirit_Gurl, from what i have read of your posts, you do seem to be a little pushy to get answers. Sorry, but not everybody here is an expert. A lot of us know just as much as you do about the questions you ask, and i think you may have too high an expectation towards people. Most of the replies you get from are just personal theories and if they don't correspond with your beliefs then don't worry about them. Just don't try to push people to come up with answers that satisfy your beliefs, that would be doing you harm i think.
One more thing - Just because there is a person wich a higher number of posts or just because somebody is more well known around here, it doesn't mean they know more than anybody else. I'm not saying you think they do, i'm just making sure people understand, as i know people to sometimes feel intimidated by the more well-known people. It happened to me when i was first exploring message boards and chat rooms. Again, i'm not saying you are new to either, i'm just putting it out there.
Well anyway, i don't know you, i can only judge by your posts. I'm sorry if i cam across as a bit harsh then, i didn't mean it that way. What ever you decide to do - stay or leave - good luck with your journey! [ :D ]

#19 · Jun 19, 2003, 04:49 · kromeknight

Hello Spirit Gurl
well from the replys you can see ppl are ppl, they make you laugh , get  angery and cry all within one thread. I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest I just except them and show my personality in replying at that time. I've had my post taken the wrong way many times and other times I replyed to cause a reaction....lol others I was just in a bad mood. Your free to decide how you will react to ppl's post thats what makes you unique, I know there are probably many ppl viewing the forums and not replying for simular reasons, being a newbie and not wanting to look silly by asking common questions but also not wanting to read past post because they/ we want to intereact with ppl. lol here I am trying to help you understand ppl on the forums and I still fill I'm ignored most of the time myself, but I guess thats all part of learning...for me that is anyway take care Spirit Gurl.[ :) ]

#20 · Jun 19, 2003, 06:58 · timeless

As Goingslow stated once on another thread...tough love is not wise to use in all situations.  All you can do is read how someone posts on the board and guess at the best way to handle it.  Spirit Gurl's posts left little doubt in my mind that tough love was not the way to go.

Who cares about being 'Right'. Actually people who claim and even insist they are 'Right' miss the point and become annoying. Right is an opinion -- nothing more.  Compassion on the other hand is everything.  About the only time we are for sure Right is when we tell someone not to jump off the bridge or do something similar to that (there are tactful and less tactful ways of handling these situations though...I know I still need some work in that department).  Other than that it is your opinion and my opinion and all that can be done is discuss and look past reaction at nudgets of truth.  My goal here is to learn about myself and help if I can....I am not here to 'teach' anyone.  They teach themselves and find the way that is 'right' for them. When someone says there is only one way, my way, the right way or "this is THE (as in the only) truth" I know it is time to either ignore them or run for the hills[ :P ]. I have done both in my life.  We must learn to teach ourselves.[ :) ]

Regards,
timeless[ :) ]

#21 · Jun 19, 2003, 10:37 · Nay

If you didn't or don't want attention...Then why is it you took the time to write a long post telling us all that you were leaving?  I will be the first to admit I thought you were ungrateful and rude to people whom posted answers to your questions.  May I suggest that you go speak to a doctor about your moods if they are that bad?  You might have some chemical imbalance going on which makes it hard for you to live day to day.  You remind me a little of my 11yr old son, whom thinks I hate him and I wouldn't be sad if he killed himself...when I tell him he can't have a candy bar before dinner.

Have a happy life...

[ ;) ] Nay.

#22 · Jun 19, 2003, 16:51 · strwrs_guru

hey clandestino............nope thats not me......nick found a super cool free avatar website and i have been going a little nuts downloading things from there. if your interested go into astral chat and you will see nicks post.

and besides all that, how did you know i have issues?[ ;) ]lol

#23 · Jun 19, 2003, 17:02 · GTP

I can relate Spirit Gurl. I have been repeatedly insulted for being a Christian, and have read topics where Christianity/Jesus was blasphemised and ridiculed.

I suggest the moderators jump in when they see this kind of thing happening.

#24 · Jun 19, 2003, 17:17 · MJ-12

Ias

#25 · Jun 19, 2003, 17:18 · Nay

I disagree GTP... Everyone is entiled to their own opinions and if the moderators jumped every time someone had a disagreement...there would be no one left to talk about such things!

[ ;) ] Nay.

#26 · Jun 19, 2003, 20:56 · James S

How is it people on a forum like this can be victimised?
We all have a high degree of anonimity. We only tell people what we want to tell them. We only reply the way we want to reply. We can only get to know people here as much as they want us to know them.

For all I know Goingslow might really be an 82yo nun, or Timeless a 25yo axe-murdering psychopath on the run with a laptop and mobile phone, just pretending to be a housewife & mother. Actually that might answer a few....[ :D ]

I might actually be God and have chosen to exert my will over this electronic equipment, my purpose here being to judge the worthy and warn that when the next lot of smitings are due some of you had better watch out!!!
Don't worry though, I'm not. Frank is really G....oops, darn! I was supposed to keep that a secret!

When you are nothing more than bits of text on a website with possibly an occasional picture, the only way you can be victimised is if you choose to be a victim.

James (or whoever I really am)

#27 · Jun 19, 2003, 21:19 · timeless

James!!!!

Dear Lord! [ :P ] You had me rolling on the floor again. Man you are totally killer! [:O]  Watch out I have enough money to visit Aussie country you know.[ ;) ] My middle name is Carrie by the way.  Actually it isn't but I wish it was. Thanks for putting my age so young.[8D] Awww! 25...good year...good year.

Big Smiles...still chuckling,
timeless[ :) ]

#28 · Jun 20, 2003, 00:31 · PeacefulWarrior

GoingSlow-
thanks for clarifying.  I read the post LATE at night and I don't think I picked up on  the sarcasm.  Anyway, I actually think this post has turned out a lot of really healthy conversation.  People need to realize that cyberspace is a very unique place and social interactions within it are not like our everyday interactions.  I am not saying they should or shouldn't be, it's just a fact and, interestingly enough, we are really the first human beings to experience "digital" interaction.  I don't want to start waxing philisophical, so I will shut up now.  I just have one more thing to say: there isn't anyone here I dislike or hold a grudge against.  People here have definetly ticked me off a number of times, but honestly I might remember the topic of conversation, but who said what and why I was mad...I can't remember.  I truly can't. It's ALL GOOOOOD in the Astral Forum HOOD![8D]       [ :P ]

#29 · Jun 20, 2003, 04:19 · GTP

quote:
Originally posted by Nay

I disagree GTP... Everyone is entiled to their own opinions and if the moderators jumped every time someone had a disagreement...there would be no one left to talk about such things!

[ ;) ] Nay.
We need to respect other's feelings, Nay. Opinions are not always innocent. They can create hurt feelings and/or offended posters. (people, not posters on walls, lol) Especially if the "victim" is obviously hurt and says so. It's not that hard to tell if an opinion is offending/hurting a poster. Moderators can make a difference in this kind of situation.

#30 · Jun 20, 2003, 04:49 · goingslow

LOL@James.

I guess I do project that nun image.. Not the first time I've been told that.

I agree PW with what you said about this thread.  Its actually hard for me to carry a grudge, and some of my best friends are people I met during arguments or intense discussions where we didnt agree and even got insulting.  Just like I was reacting to the situation so were they.  Just like spirit girl was just reacting to being hurt etc.

#31 · Jun 20, 2003, 08:07 · Nay

[/quote]

We need to respect other's feelings, Nay. Opinions are not always innocent. They can create hurt feelings and/or offended posters. (people, not posters on walls, lol) Especially if the "victim" is obviously hurt and says so. It's not that hard to tell if an opinion is offending/hurting a poster. Moderators can make a difference in this kind of situation.
[/quote]

I know my opinions are not always innocent...that's because they are MY opinions.  I will not monitor what I say just because I may or may not hurt or offend posters.  And let's face it...we are talking about ONE "victim" here...And she asked...and received!  If she allowed it to hurt or offend that is her.  Then don't come back for more and more and more and more..or you will get more of the same.  What exactly do you think the moderators can do to make a difference?  I am way too old to be put in Time-Out! [ :o )]
But of course this is my opinion [ :P ] I am not sure if I am offending you or not..not MEANING to, just saying how I feel.

Nay. [ ;) ]

#32 · Jun 20, 2003, 09:00 · James S

Tia,
I will always believe one thing about you - you have a very sharp mind. You've ask some amazingly intelligent and insightful questions, and you'll probably go a long way if you can channel that intellect and insight in the right way. I have a 13yo son and he doesn't think about things half as much as you do. Actually, he doesn't seem to like thinking much at all!

At the moment though it seems like you need to feel justified in what you've said. If you want to share thoughts and opinions, great, we'll all be in on that. If you just want to have your thoughts and opinions justified, well, sorry. It's not just you, no-one gets away with that here.

PW,
You pointed out something important, and one of the things that makes this forum one of the rare ones on the web - I've seen you and others (definitely me included) get ticked off by someone on one post, yet have a normal conversation with that same person in another. No-one here's perfect, we all have our buttons that get pushed, but hardly ever does someone go right off about it.

Goingslow,
Not the first time you've been told?
Mate, you've gotta stop wearing those habits![ ;) ]

GTP,
Yes, the moderators have intervened in some cases, and Adrian has removed members from this site, but only when they have prooven to be constantly abusive or have regularly given foolish or dangerous advice to people who might be in a difficult situation.

As to being offended, if you cop deliberate personal abuse from someone, that's not on, and shouldn't ever be tolerated. If what offends you is someone's opinion, sorry, but get over it. The simple fact is we don't all think the same, and opinions aren't indisputable facts, they're not The Truth of All Things, they're only opinions. Most people here think about what they say so as not to offend people, but the bottom line is - the way we choose to recieve a comment is at fault far more often than the way we choose to offer a comment.

Timeless,
Sorry, um...really I am. I didn't mean it.... really...I...umm... didn't want to offend you at all....um... please don't be angry.......pleasepleasepleaseplease...........[ :o )]
My wife says we've a spare bed here if you wish to visit, just be sure to leave all knives, axes, and other lethal impliments...machine-guns...knitting needles...at the door before you come in. And please let us know in advance so we can put the kitchen cutlery somewhere.....safe[ :) ]

James.