#0 · May 24, 2003, 17:44 · kakkarot

i've been talking to tom, and he said that since he's left someone should post a message saying that you could come back now.

i don't know what's happened between the two of you, and i'm not going to ask. i'm just relaying this for tom.

~kakkarot

#1 · May 24, 2003, 19:00 · Fenris

When you take a step back it seems silly that forums can become such a part of our lives that disputes of such a scale can even happen. I think many of us who have been here a long while, or contributed to a large extent have felt so strongly about something at one time or another we have reacted more turbidly than we perhaps should. The whole Sai baba thing being an example. I guess a lot of it has to do with how much the forum is apart of your social life, and there is nothing wrong with the online world being very important to you. But the online world should remain more in our control, it should ideally be easier to avoid conflict like this. It seems that when conflict allows us to realise how involved we have become, our defence is to get ourselves out of it all together. I know Ive been there, now I come here for a different reason.

#2 · May 24, 2003, 19:07 · Spirit_Gurl

what happened?

#3 · May 26, 2003, 11:07 · Ides315

Hey all.

Hi kakkarot, fenris. Long time no post.

Good points. Great thing about the internet is we can CHOOSE what we want to read. Though is does create social connections, if one ignores them they go away. I dropped off of the board for 4 months. For all of you I no longer existed.

I was wondering what happened to Tom. kakkarot with Tom's permission would you PM me his email address. My hard drive crashed and I lost all of my contacts.

Best to all

Ides

#4 · May 26, 2003, 11:09 · Ides315

Hey all.

Hi kakkarot, fenris. Long time no post.

Good points. Great thing about the internet is we can CHOOSE what we want to read. Though is does create social connections, if one ignores them they go away. I dropped off of the board for 4 months. For all of you I no longer existed.

I was wondering what happened to Tom. kakkarot with Tom's permission would you PM me his email address. My hard drive crashed and I lost all of my contacts.

Best to all

Ides

#5 · May 26, 2003, 13:51 · kakkarot

hey ides, i was wondering when you'd be back. i seem to recall you saying that you'd be away for a month or two, not four :p.

good to see people coming back though (you, grenade, and a couple of others)

i'll check with tom and send it to you when he says yes [ :) ].

~kakkarot

#6 · May 26, 2003, 14:56 · Ides315

Thanks kakkarot

Sorry about the double post, my computer burped.

It seemed like a good idea to lay low for a while. Our moving was a good time to break some connections. Not that I have not checked in on you guys from time to time, I just did not log in.

Did you ever make it through to your next stage?  Have been having my own growth issues also.

Take care

#7 · May 26, 2003, 20:48 · goingslow

Ive done the "im not coming back" thing before.  I think what keeps you away even after the bad feelings are no longer there is pride.  Like " i said im leaving I cant go back now."  I think that isnt cool especially on a forum like this.

And especially when there are others you talked to that got something from your posts.  Its letting the person you didnt get along with dictate whether others get to converse with you.

But people make their own choices.. they chose to leave a messageboard cus they dont get along with a few people.  Not in timeless's case but in another post on this forum where the person left cus of responses I think its trying to put a guilt trip on people.

We're all adults.. (well some) since some are younger.. things can be talked out or ignored.  No reason to leave on bad terms.

#8 · May 27, 2003, 20:10 · kakkarot

too true goingslow.

ides: i don't know. i'm going forward sometimes, going backward others. and i'm also feeling lost in something huge.

but i trust that God will see me through: He always has before (even when i didn't know it at the time [|)]).

no word yet on his email address.

~kakkarot

#9 · May 27, 2003, 22:04 · timeless

Dear All,

Adrian sent me an email making me aware of misconceptions that I must apologize for -- hence my return.  I was shocked and sad to hear Tom left.  I did not leave because of Tom.  Two words, parole and family wishes, this is all I will say -- even saying this I am likely crossing my bounds.  I have a difficult time communicating without being extremely open.  So...it is not easy. I did not return because I did not wish to face many questions I cannot reply to.

What I said in parting to Tom was harsh but the strong opinions he presented to me were not...helpful.  Rattled I did not act as I should and normally do.  I did not expect two or was it three lines to have such impact.  I must respect words more in future.

I hope this forum flourishes and all of you do well.  I now have a literary agent who has agreed to work with me.  The key word is "work". So I will be very busy.  I can post but must be careful to avoid mentioning anyone but myself.  Tough when no one is an island and no experience strictly about self.

Deepest Regards,
timeless

#10 · May 28, 2003, 08:17 · Frank

Hello! It's good to see you again.

All the best.

Yours,
Frank

#11 · May 28, 2003, 08:47 · Parmenion

Likewise
[ :) ]

#12 · May 28, 2003, 11:58 · Squeek

Well, I left for about a month way back when.  I joined near the middle of december or something and left about 2 - 3 weeks in till a little after January something.  If I hadn't my post count would have been waaay higher.  I'm glad I came back.  Other than my youth group, this has been the best place to post what I really feel.  Nobody else gets that in my life.

~Squeek

#13 · May 28, 2003, 12:02 · Ides315

Timeless

Very nicely put. It takes a strong person to admit flaws to yourself, let alone post them. You have my congratulations. Life is the work towards perfection. Or should be.

Kakkarot. I know exactly what you mean, same here.

Best to all.

#14 · May 28, 2003, 15:26 · Nick

timeless,

It was good to read your post, which, like your many others was written from the heart. I do miss reading what you write. I wish you all the very best and hope to read your posts again someday.

kakkarot,

Thanks for starting this thread. It was heartening to read everyone's concern for timeless.

#15 · May 28, 2003, 15:26 · Spirit_Gurl

what happened?

#16 · May 28, 2003, 15:48 · goingslow

Great news about the book.

hope its out soon

#17 · May 29, 2003, 09:24 · Tisha

"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you angry."

I don't know who wrote or said it first, but the above phrase has been useful to me for a long time.  I know a couple who posted it on their refrigerator and kept it there for years.

Often when we react to people we're reacting less to what they actually said, and more to our inner turmoil, our egoes, our misconceptions/preconceptions.  So "what's-up about that," we must ask ourselves!  When I get angry, well, I get REAL angry, but when I settle down, I always ask myself a lot of questions.

I don't know what caused the initial on-line spat referred to in this thread, but I do know that most online (and in-person) spats are caused by 1) misunderstandings and/or 2) ego issues.  In other words, our reactions say more about ourselves than they do about "them."

Or something like that.   Anyway, the more the merrier, welcome back whoever you are!

#18 · May 29, 2003, 10:11 · goingslow

Timeless was the first one to actually tell me about shadow here and ego.  As well as projecting parts of yourself onto someone else and perceive insults.

What was more likely was she was being outright criticized for sharing so much personal information.

#19 · May 29, 2003, 12:39 · timeless

Dear Tisha,

It is nice to make your acquaintance.  Actually, it had very little to do with the forum.  I have a very good family life but a very unusual family situation which Goingslow is well acquainted with.  I was erasing a great deal of personal information due to this...no one in the forum noticed these large erasures (I think) because they were responses to other people's topics.  I planned to wait for certain things to fall of the front page of the board and then erase.  I did not enjoy doing this but it was important.  This was the root of my unhappiness.  I then posted something I felt was very nonpersonal and received a few strong opinions.  At this point I decided since I had erased over 200 posts (comments to others topics) I might as well erase it all.  This way I was assured a clean slate -- a rash decision accompanied by 3 lines of harsh words which I regret.

I am sure a few wondered how I could have erased so much so quickly.  Actually it was because most was erased prior to my own topic erasures.

Regards,
timeless

#20 · May 30, 2003, 06:14 · Tisha

timeless, it is nice to meet your acquaintence too.  I look forward to your posts!

#21 · May 30, 2003, 14:30 · Spirit_Gurl

WHAT HAPPENED? ??? ? why wont anyone tell me what happened?

#22 · May 30, 2003, 15:21 · Nerezza

Nothing happened, it's just your imagination.

Anyway it is good to see that your back Timeless.

#23 · Jun 01, 2003, 09:55 · Spirit_Gurl

nothing happened? so why was this page started if nothing happened? why did tom leave if nothing happened? why did timelesss leave if nothing happened? stop shutting me out.

#24 · Jun 01, 2003, 10:20 · no_leaf_clover

maybe if you'd read the posts above you'd get a good idea

timeless:
quote:
I was erasing a great deal of personal information due to (family problems)...no one in the forum noticed these large erasures (I think) because they were responses to other people's topics.